Many of us have hopes and dreams that just never seem to become a reality. Sometimes we give up, sometimes we try something different, sometimes we just assume it was never meant to be. More often than not there is an underlying reason why we never seem to be able to stick with the change and reach that finish line. Here are just a few…
1. You are friends with ‘Debbie Downer’. Energy is a powerful thing. If you tend to hang around negative people, or have people in your life that constantly put you down or discourage your dreams, that energy transfers to you. You start to believe it, you may even give up trying to change or stop trying something new. After all, if they are saying it cant happen it must be true right? Wrong! Since when did they become an authority on your life? Often, when people put you down or squash your dreams, it’s simply because they are not happy with their own lives. I know I’ve had people put me down because it made them feel better about themselves. I actually had a ‘friend’ who once called me a ‘lost puppy who just liked to follow her around and said that’s all I would ever be.’ Fast forward a few years and I am now a published author, an integrative wellness and life coach and business consultant. I guess you could say I went from a lost puppy to the leader of the pack….although don’t tell my dog that. 🙂
2. You tried the ‘fad diet’ approach to change. Seems like every time you turn on the TV there is another ad for immediate weight loss results or how to make quick money. Sometimes when we want to change, we go for the quick fix and want to see immediate results… but those changes/results often don’t stick and we end up right back where we started. This isn’t just referring to a food diet, but anything in your life where you went all-in, cold turkey or wanted to show quick progress. The challenge with fad diets is that they don’t give your mind, body and spirit time to adapt and the results are not sustained. In addition, fad diets tend to focus on just one thing….such as taking a pill to lose weight. They don’t account for the interconnectedness between our four body systems (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual). Many times if we are overweight and we overeat, it’s not just about the food. There may be an underlying mental or emotional situation where eating is just how it manifests. Simply cutting back on calories will not address the bigger problem and your issue will resurface or manifest in another way. If you don’t address all four body systems, the fad diet will be just that…a passing fad.
3. You’re focusing on the tip of the iceberg. Every day we see celebrities showing off their toned bodies or new sports cars. There are even people spending thousands and thousands of dollars to try to look like someone else. All that is doing is focusing on the surface, the exterior. To further complicate things, there are so many reality TV shows these days, we seem to have blurred the lines between a television series and what’s actually real life. We forget that there is life when the camera’s stop rolling and when the make-up comes off. We fail to look below the surface, at all of the hard work that was endured, the emotional toll of always being in the spotlight. We don’t recognize the hardships these celebrities had to overcome to get where the are today. Did you know that some of the most famous names in history were turned down, told no and faced real hardships in their personal lives? From J.K. Rowling to Walt Disney and even The Beatles – we know of their amazing success, but they were all shut down, pushed aside and passed on at some points in their career. Each time they used it as a stepping stone to rise even higher…until the tip of their iceberg was visible to us. So, you see, there is almost always much more to one’s success than meets the eye. If we only focus on the surface, the end result, we will always feel that any goal is out of our reach.
4. You are a back seat driver. When you tend to put everyone and everything else first – your family, your friends, your job – you basically become a back seat driver in your own life. Your personal hopes and dreams get put aside so that you can make others happy. Even when you try to direct your way, it’s ultimately the person behind wheel who is in control. Someone else starts deciding where you are going and how you’ll get there. They will pick the radio station and control the temperature. All the while, you just sit idly in the back seat hoping you’ll be happy once you get there, trying to guide them every once in a while to no avail. Slowly, you get farther and farther away from your own hopes and dreams. The sad reality is that if we don’t step up, make our own choices, ensure our voice is heard, there will always be someone ready and willing to hop right into the driver’s seat and take control.
Can you relate to one or more of these change challenges? Do you surround yourself with negative people? Are you just looking for a quick fix? Do you find yourself comparing your journey to someone else’s achievements? Are you always putting other people first? If you answered yes to any of these, you are not alone. We all fall into the change challenges at some point in our lives. It’s how we navigate those challenges and come out on the other side that will make a difference in our own destiny. The first step is to recognize why you are getting stuck and then take inspired action to course correct.
I’m planning a few upcoming webinars as well as an online workshop designed to empower you with the tools you need to reach whatever life goals you are looking to achieve. If you are interested in learning how to identify and overcome your change challenges, send me a note at firstname.lastname@example.org.